I was the first generation of ‘have it all’ women and I nearly missed the husband and family of ‘it all’. Embracing this piece of my life was trial by fire - I met my husband at 35, married in 5 months and had 3 children over the next 3.5 years, all the time running my own business.
Before all the domestic bliss ( insert ironic emoticon), I was living in Los Angeles, running my own Physical Therapy business, traveling the world, surrounded by beautiful, successful, often famous people. I wore expensive clothes and shoes, drove a luxury car and always had a smile on my face.
I was a very independent capable woman.
Need? What was that?
Unlike most of the women of my generation, at 32 I was pulled up short with the reality of having the BRAC1 gene, giving me an 80% risk of getting breast and/or ovarian cancer. Forty years old was the deadline the doctors gave me to prophylactically remove my breasts and ovaries. I was single, not very focused on marriage and children and suddenly I was feeling desperate to get married and have children and as we all know, desperation in a 30 something woman is not very attractive…to say the least.
This genetic kick in the pants had a silver lining
I got honest with myself and took stock of my life. If I kept doing everything on my own I would turn 40 with the same story, and no partner. Sure I was having fun on my own but I felt unbalanced and that I didn't yet have my 'all'. I could no longer assume that I would get married and have kids, I was going to need to focus on it (cringe). Turns out I wanted a partner and a teammate. I was sick of doing it all by myself. I was ready to attract my person, to be someones number one. I realized that was going to
Require me to become the kind of woman that would attract the kind of man I wanted.
I spent the next 4 years focused on getting on track and becoming the best version of myself. Loving myself before anyone loved me was challenging (honestly getting a dog helped). It was a challenging transformation in fact one might call it, clunky. I decided to put myself around different people, the kind of people that would force me to step up and be better. Business school seemed like a great way for me to build on a piece of my education that was lacking and meet a whole new world of people.
By the time my husband showed up at the beginning of my second year in business school, I was so excited and into my life that I wasn’t even looking for a man anymore. I was just being me, and that me was better than ever. I was feeling confident and secure and I had stopped trying to impress people.
I believe that finding the right man has very little to do with the man. Take back the power, your man is waiting for you, you just need to step into all that you are, be whole and happy and the person you were born to be - then you will attract the man you were meant to be with. There is no settling, however first, you have to step into all that you are.
I am here to help you get whatever your 'all' is. For me it was a family, for you it might be something else however the thought of you giving so much to the world and not getting the love and support and family and career that you deserve would be a tragedy.