Is it just me or are there a disproportionate group of single women in their thirties and forties with dogs, that - and I quote - are the love of their lives?

Is it just me or are there a disproportionate group of single women in their thirties and forties with dogs, that - and I quote - are the love of their lives?

Don’t get me wrong, I was that woman also, however now I am in my 40’s with 3 children and with a husband and my poor put upon original 'love of my life' still sleeps on my bed, yet is going to, without a doubt, die soon.

Back to my point, I remember when I was 35 and so in love with Maz that I couldn’t even think about the potential of him dying, I was going to have to find a way for that dog to live forever or I was planning to die with him.

Seven years later Maz is now 14 and I give my stinky, always at my feet, dog, credit for my life. However he is now not my life and thank God, because he is going to die soon. I’m not okay with it, however now that I have a ‘love of my life” husband and three children, I am going to be able to go on without him.

Can we talk about this? Is this you?

If you are in your 30’s or 40's and your dog is your life, find a human to connect with, have children or find meaning. It is too much for a dog to be your everything and they are not going to live forever, that love of your life is going to die on you. Can you imagine if that happens before your heart is filled with love for your partner and potentially your children?

Maz taught me what unconditional love looks like and thank goodness or hadn’t I wouldn’t have known what to look for.

I am NEVER going to love a dog the way I love Maz, seriously his breath smells and when I smell it I just breathe deeper…sick but I am making a point.

If you are reading this and don’t have a dog, get one and if you are reading this and have a dog, who is the love of your life, it is time to find a human love of your life. If you need help with this, click herehttp://www.helenagoto.com/strategy-session/ and I will give you actionable steps to get there.

Okay I am off to sniff my dogs breath while I can.

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'Be more feminine', what does this even mean?  So many times I have women ask me, "does that mean I have to act pathetic and that I don't know what to do?". When did being feminine become synonymous with being weak? I see it as a the  backlash of the feminist movement, all the things women were doing were undermined in the fight to have the same rights as men. I don't believe that was the intention. 

I see how this has thrown whole societies out of wack, in New Zealand, the most manly of men don't know what to do for their women because their women are doing it all for themselves. This is debilitating for masculine men and very confusing for the woman who would like a supportive partner.

I believe the feminist movement was about creating the opportunity for women and men to do whatever they wanted, if a man wants to stay home with the kids, that's cool, if a woman wants to go to work and put her kid in daycare or have her husband take care of the baby, that's cool too, if a women wants to stay home with her kids thats okay too. Yet somehow all things feminine were made dirty - that is except for looking gorgeous at all times.

The world is deeply out of balance. Reports are coming through showing how positive it is to have women on the board, women in positions of power and women being available to their children.

Let me get back to the point, what does it mean to be feminine?

This is what I think being feminine means:

I am strong enough to be vulnerable
I am strong enough to choose to feel good
I am strong enough to trust my partner
I am strong enough to be treated right
I am strong enough to take care of myself
I am strong enough to be open and honest
I am strong enough to cry when I am hurting
I am strong enough to protect my children
I am strong enough to be okay with who I am no matter what type of woman I am
I am strong enough to be okay with however I choose to relate to the concept of family
I am strong enough to have needs

I struggle everyday to be balanced, as I have spent so much of my life learning the masculine language of our world and it feels safe to me. However when I open up to my husband, allow him to see my needs and be there for me, the pay off is pretty spectacular.